With Him

"What is your biggest fear?"

Sitting by the window, I wrapped my hands around the hot cup of coffee, letting the warmth flow through my shivering body, as I pondered about the question my friend asked me yesterday. My answer was simple: I looked deep into her eyes, ignoring the painful formation of a lump in my throat, and let out a strained smile. Being the sweet and understanding friend she was, she knew not to push it.

As I took a sip of my coffee, I thought about the number of fears I could have listed down for my friend: starting with crawling spiders to slithering snakes to the fear of people abandoning me. I could have told her about my fear of opening my heart to someone, let alone loving and trusting them. And of course, the fear of death.

But I stayed quiet. Just my painful smile lingered on.

But the moment I was forced to face my biggest fear, the fear of death, the moment when someone I loved and cared for so deeply left me, I knew all the other fears I ever had seemed utterly trivial and unimportant. Now, I have an answer for my friend tomorrow.

"Along with his death, he took away my fear with him."