Why Shouldn't She?

The eventide was nearing, the drowning rays of the sun barely visible anymore. The bright ball of fire would set every day to let her beloved moon to rise high in the sky, to breathe in the glory of her light of love. The Sun was the epitome of positivity and happiness whereas the Moon reflected darkness and lament she goes through every night. They were different, but they could never live without each other. It didn’t matter that they were unique, shared differences. Only thing that truly mattered was the significant role they played in each other’s lives. The Sun was admired by many for her warm and welcoming nature; the moon silently endured looks of indifference. The night owls were the only ones who valued her presence, her imperfect beauty. They shared melancholic stories akin to the moon and felt her suffrage.

One such woman sat by her window, gazing at the breath-taking moon with moist eyes. Like the moon, she too went through different phases in her life. A countable phase brought smile to her face, but others suffocated her with pain, leaving her unknown to the simple process of breathing. Learning from the moon, she knew no matter how many dark phases she went through, how many pieces she was broken into, she would somehow always be whole. In the dream of dreams, she would lose herself, detached from the harsh and cold realities of the world. An ardent dreamer, with a heart that would never stop hoping, would leap into the pages of a book, letting the crafty and seducing words to engulf her with the beauty of fantasy of living in a place far, far away from everyone where peace was the only thing she yearned for, thirsted over.

Escaping to a snow-covered mountain with a cabin on the top of the secluded mountain was a dream she was chasing, hoping to make the dream come true one day. Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw herself looking at the gorgeous sunset, slowly descending behind the tall mountains. A smile would appear as she would let her rigid self-go the moment her soulmate’s arms enveloped her, bringing her closer to their body. The soft kiss of her lover ignited a warmth stronger than fire within her being and she knew she never was more peaceful in her whole life but at that moment with her beloved. She had found paradise in her partner’s arms.

Nowadays, however, as she continued to glance at the moon with cheeks stained with tears, all she saw was herself on top of that mountain with a blanket around her body, her arms hugging her cold, lonely body. The dream was shattering, blurring with the painstaking reality of her inevitable loneliness and doom. So why shouldn’t she end her life before the sad truth of life ended her soul?