Feel Again

To Your Absence,

With the hope to feel for you again, I slice my heart out and bleed into this apology letter to you.

I am so sorry, Dad.

When you were here with me, I acted as a petulant teenager. Took you for granted, took your love for granted. Chasing for God knows what! All I really had to do was let you love me, let you hold me in your arms. But I want you to know that I had never felt love in my life other than yours.

You are my hero, one of the strongest person I know. Maybe I was the damaged one, always looking for love in places I only found indifference and ignorance, when all I had to do was come to you. You were my cheerleader; always happy with whatever I achieved in life, whether I liked my accomplishments or not.

You were my protector. You were my father. But now with you gone, I have lost everything. A daughter lost her father; a girl saw her protector shrivel into nothingness.

I am sure you’re upset with me, Dad, and you’ve every right to be. I was and have been an awful daughter to you. The endless chaos in my life has led me to forget you, to avoid you. But you’re still here, in my heart. For you’re a part of me. And that part, I never want it to die and fade away.

I hope to love you again, because you deserve unconditional love after everything you had endured in your life.

I’m sorry, Dad. But I love you.

With love,

Your daughter.